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There are 271 corporate commands in the database.
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Be the dog.
Corporation: Crown Publishing Group
Product: You Are the Dog
Location: The New Yorker, Nov. 29, 2004
Collected On: 02-05-2005
Researcher: Jamie Ciocco
Language: English
 
Please suggest how one might go about performing this command as literally as possible.
  1. *sniffs crotch*
  2. crap all over the carpet
  3. fire hydrant, anyone?
  4. walk in circles before lying down and taking a nap
  5. bark at the mailman
  6. chase a car
  7. be the lousy boyfriend
  8. lick yourself, because you can.
  9. Hump couch pillow.
  10. roll onto your back for tummy rub


  11. SUGGEST

The Institute for Infinitely Small Things